Growth tips 30 seconds to business enlightenment.

How to connect with others

09-Dec-2010

According to the Harvard Business Review, "The No.1 criteria for advancement and promotion for professionals is an ability to communicate effectively."

Author John C. Maxwell, states, “Only one thing stands between you and success.  It isn’t experience or talent.  To be successful, you must learn how to really connect with people.  And while it may seem like some folks are just born with it, the fact is anyone can learn how to make every communication an opportunity for a powerful connection.”

Connecting is not a talent that comes naturally to me.  I’m a task-focused “do it now” person.  Whilst I am great at “getting things done”, I am not so strong in the “taking care of people” aspect of leadership.  Fortunately one of my mentors shared a great mantra which has proved immensely helpful to me:  “Spend 2 minutes longer with a person than you normally would, and ask them 2 more questions than you normally would.”  

Here are some other tips I’ve picked up to help us better connect with others:

Give yourself.

In social situations, go first. Initiating a conversation often feels awkward.  It means risking rejection.  Prepare two or three questions you can ask beforehand.  At the close of a conversation, ask if there is anything you can do to help them and then follow through.

Pay full attention.

Eliminate or tune out distractions.  Give them your eyes, body, brain, and energy.  Take a genuine interest in what the person is saying. 

Show that you care.

When you are trying to connect with people, it’s not about you - it’s about them.  Don’t just focus on you, or your product or service.  Talk more about them, and less about you.  Focus on them and their needs.   If you are in sales, and you want people to take action - they will do so for their reasons, not yours. 

It’s about the feeling.

People will not always remember what you said or did, but they will always remember how you made them feel.

More than words.

• What we say accounts for 7% of what is believed.
• The way we say it: 38%
• What they see: 55%

Apparently, more than 90% of the impression we leave has nothing to do with what we actually say.  People may hear your words, but they feel your attitude. The exact words you use are far less important than your passion and conviction in saying them.

Keep it simple.

Cut to the chase before your listener starts thinking, "What’s the point?"  Being simple as a communicator isn’t a weakness - it’s a strength.  The measure of a great teacher isn’t what they know; it’s what their students know.  Albert Einstein said, "If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it enough."  

Repetition.  Repetition.  Repetition.

The first time you say something, it’s heard. The second time, it’s recognized.  The third time, it’s learned.

Be authentic.

Know yourself.  Know your audience.  Know your stuff.  As jazz great Charlie Parker once said, "If you don’t live it, it won’t come out of your horn."

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